sesiapa saje yang merasakan dirinya terhina
dek panahan kasih tak berperi kemanusiaan
masih menyentap diri kepiluan sendu keegoaam
difajar mandi keindahan syurga khayalan minda
wukufan emosi kentalan fizik merufuk jua
yang itu catatonic bisa bernyawa
mencari paranoia di celah kehilangan
tujuh keturunan mengukuh yang Esa
entah kapan bila bisa di sentuh
meruntun hiba dengan kesalahan
aku kini ku akui luhur metafizik
kealuran di logika schizopernia
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Plan Ahead
When Anne T. Molloy, PsyD, was laid off from General Electric in 1999, she didn't panic. Instead, she used the opportunity to overhaul her plans for her life.
That's when she set her sights on a new career goal: to be a rehabilitation psychologist.
These days, she's a postdoctoral fellow in rehabilitation psychology at the Hunter Holmes McGuire Veterans Affairs Medical Center in Richmond, Va. And thanks to her two decades in the business world, she's also a big believer in looking toward the future and making decisions with long-term goals in mind.
"Your plan doesn't have to be set in stone," says Molloy. "But it gives you an outline and helps you organize how you need to network and where you need to go."
Molloy credits a series of career plans for helping her get to where she is today. In graduate school, she gained practicum experience in rehabilitation psychology that helped her decide to go for an internship within the VA. Then she crafted a plan for her internship at the Boston VA Medical Center and then another for her two-year postdoc.
Her current plan includes such goals as getting licensed in Virginia, Maryland and Washington, D.C., teaching a class in rehabilitation psychology, and networking within APA's Div. 22 (Rehabilitation) and the state psychological associations in Virginia and Maryland.
Now she's debating between two potential five-year plans: to go for a second postdoc in neuropsychology to round out her skills or start looking for a job within the VA system. Her ultimate goal is to run a program for veterans with disabilities and their families at the VA.
Ideally, every psychology graduate student should have a career plan, say experts. And you should begin working on it before applying to grad schools, says Jeffrey A. Knight, PhD, a clinical neuropsychologist at the National Center for PTSD-VA Boston Healthcare System and Boston University School of Medicine. That's because the decisions you make about graduate school — whether to enter a research or practice-focused program, for instance, and what professor to work with — already begin to shape your future career choices. Similarly, students' internships and postdocs will affect their future job options.
"When you go on a trip, you would never just pack up the car, turn it on and start driving," says Knight. "You take a road map, and you have a destination in mind."
Creating and using a career plan can be especially tough when you're immersed in the day-to-day rigors of grad school, he adds. "Graduate training is like a conveyer belt that's moving you forward," says Knight. "You can get micro-focused on the training milestone immediately ahead and stop focusing on your overall career goals."
Wherever you are in your psychology training, it's not too late to start thinking about your long-term goals and how to get there, experts say. Here are four recommendations to get you started:
1. Work backwards. "Your plan should be based not on where you are today, but where you want to be in five to 10 years," says Robert D. Morgan, PhD, co-editor of "Life After Graduate School in Psychology: Insider's Advice from New Psychologists" (Psychology Press, 2004) and a psychology professor at Texas Tech University. "Then you can put in the steps you need to get there."
Morgan practices what he preaches: He has what he calls "career business plans" for his practice and his research. Each plan contains as much detail as Morgan can muster. His personal research plan, for example, includes grants he wants to get, papers he needs to write to support those grant proposals and conferences he needs to attend to meet colleagues who could serve as consultants on those future grants. For a graduate student intent on running a child psychology clinic one day, a plan might include coursework, practica and an internship focused on child psychology.
Include dates in your plan to keep yourself honest, Morgan says. "If you don't have a deadline, things aren't going to get done," Morgan says. His plans include both big-picture deadlines and biweekly to-do lists. Begin your plan by noting key deadlines, such as when you need to apply for internships, defend your dissertation and take your qualifying exams, and then work backwards, he recommends.
2.Include personal as well as professional goals. In addition to thinking about where you want to end up professionally, says Morgan, do some dreaming about your personal life. "What kind of lifestyle do you want to have?" he says. "That's going to dictate what kind of salary you need to make. What do you need to do to make that kind of salary?" Be as specific as possible, he says. Think about where you want to live, how much you want to travel and how many hours a week you want to work.
Family issues can become very important, adds Knight. If you have a partner, he points out, you need to consider each other's needs and desires when deciding where to go for internships and postdocs. If your family will include children, add them to your plan. Women starting out in academia need to balance the timelines and requirements for achieving tenure with the realities of the biological clock, says Knight. Having children may also affect your priorities when it comes to location, he says. "You might want a job near your extended family so your children grow up with their grandparents, and you have help with child care," he says. "These very practical issues can affect your career."
3. Use your plan to evaluate opportunities. In graduate school and beyond, the number of decisions can be overwhelming. A career plan can help you sift through opportunities as they arise, says Morgan. "If you have a career business plan, you can more easily identify whether something is actually going to help you." Revisit your plan once a year to make sure you're on track, Morgan recommends.
What if you don't know what you want to do? Add exploring different options to your plan — within reason. While exploring is a natural part of graduate training, says Knight, you don't want to spend more time in the trainee role than you have to. And while you still have some flexibility in your postdoctoral training, he says, entry-level employers generally assume you're pretty committed to your choice of career. "We've had child psychology interns complete their training year and then switch their emphasis to adult psychology for their postdocs," he says. "That's a lot of predoctoral training to discover that maybe you should have investigated the possibility of training in adult psychology before internship."
Volunteer work can also expose you to different possibilities, says Molloy. So can talking to psychologists who already have a career like the one you're considering. "Members of state associations and psychologists at APA's Annual Convention welcome talking to grad students," she says. "Ask them how they did it and what steps they took."
4.Write in pencil. Make a plan, but don't be rigid about it, says Carolyn A. Licht, PhD, co-editor of "Your Career in Psychology: Putting Your Graduate Degree to Work" (Wiley-Blackwell, 2009) and a staff licensed psychologist at Columbia University Medical Center's Harlem Hospital. "You have to be willing to erase everything and rewrite your plan," says Licht, who was a professional ballet dancer in her first career.
Viewing your career plan as a work in progress lets you take advantage of unexpected opportunities, Licht says. "If you're really strict about only following the path you've set, you may end up closing a lot of doors that may have been really fascinating opportunities for you," she says. "Sometimes you have to be willing to go off the plan and explore a new path."
That's when she set her sights on a new career goal: to be a rehabilitation psychologist.
These days, she's a postdoctoral fellow in rehabilitation psychology at the Hunter Holmes McGuire Veterans Affairs Medical Center in Richmond, Va. And thanks to her two decades in the business world, she's also a big believer in looking toward the future and making decisions with long-term goals in mind.
"Your plan doesn't have to be set in stone," says Molloy. "But it gives you an outline and helps you organize how you need to network and where you need to go."
Molloy credits a series of career plans for helping her get to where she is today. In graduate school, she gained practicum experience in rehabilitation psychology that helped her decide to go for an internship within the VA. Then she crafted a plan for her internship at the Boston VA Medical Center and then another for her two-year postdoc.
Her current plan includes such goals as getting licensed in Virginia, Maryland and Washington, D.C., teaching a class in rehabilitation psychology, and networking within APA's Div. 22 (Rehabilitation) and the state psychological associations in Virginia and Maryland.
Now she's debating between two potential five-year plans: to go for a second postdoc in neuropsychology to round out her skills or start looking for a job within the VA system. Her ultimate goal is to run a program for veterans with disabilities and their families at the VA.
Ideally, every psychology graduate student should have a career plan, say experts. And you should begin working on it before applying to grad schools, says Jeffrey A. Knight, PhD, a clinical neuropsychologist at the National Center for PTSD-VA Boston Healthcare System and Boston University School of Medicine. That's because the decisions you make about graduate school — whether to enter a research or practice-focused program, for instance, and what professor to work with — already begin to shape your future career choices. Similarly, students' internships and postdocs will affect their future job options.
"When you go on a trip, you would never just pack up the car, turn it on and start driving," says Knight. "You take a road map, and you have a destination in mind."
Creating and using a career plan can be especially tough when you're immersed in the day-to-day rigors of grad school, he adds. "Graduate training is like a conveyer belt that's moving you forward," says Knight. "You can get micro-focused on the training milestone immediately ahead and stop focusing on your overall career goals."
Wherever you are in your psychology training, it's not too late to start thinking about your long-term goals and how to get there, experts say. Here are four recommendations to get you started:
1. Work backwards. "Your plan should be based not on where you are today, but where you want to be in five to 10 years," says Robert D. Morgan, PhD, co-editor of "Life After Graduate School in Psychology: Insider's Advice from New Psychologists" (Psychology Press, 2004) and a psychology professor at Texas Tech University. "Then you can put in the steps you need to get there."
Morgan practices what he preaches: He has what he calls "career business plans" for his practice and his research. Each plan contains as much detail as Morgan can muster. His personal research plan, for example, includes grants he wants to get, papers he needs to write to support those grant proposals and conferences he needs to attend to meet colleagues who could serve as consultants on those future grants. For a graduate student intent on running a child psychology clinic one day, a plan might include coursework, practica and an internship focused on child psychology.
Include dates in your plan to keep yourself honest, Morgan says. "If you don't have a deadline, things aren't going to get done," Morgan says. His plans include both big-picture deadlines and biweekly to-do lists. Begin your plan by noting key deadlines, such as when you need to apply for internships, defend your dissertation and take your qualifying exams, and then work backwards, he recommends.
2.Include personal as well as professional goals. In addition to thinking about where you want to end up professionally, says Morgan, do some dreaming about your personal life. "What kind of lifestyle do you want to have?" he says. "That's going to dictate what kind of salary you need to make. What do you need to do to make that kind of salary?" Be as specific as possible, he says. Think about where you want to live, how much you want to travel and how many hours a week you want to work.
Family issues can become very important, adds Knight. If you have a partner, he points out, you need to consider each other's needs and desires when deciding where to go for internships and postdocs. If your family will include children, add them to your plan. Women starting out in academia need to balance the timelines and requirements for achieving tenure with the realities of the biological clock, says Knight. Having children may also affect your priorities when it comes to location, he says. "You might want a job near your extended family so your children grow up with their grandparents, and you have help with child care," he says. "These very practical issues can affect your career."
3. Use your plan to evaluate opportunities. In graduate school and beyond, the number of decisions can be overwhelming. A career plan can help you sift through opportunities as they arise, says Morgan. "If you have a career business plan, you can more easily identify whether something is actually going to help you." Revisit your plan once a year to make sure you're on track, Morgan recommends.
What if you don't know what you want to do? Add exploring different options to your plan — within reason. While exploring is a natural part of graduate training, says Knight, you don't want to spend more time in the trainee role than you have to. And while you still have some flexibility in your postdoctoral training, he says, entry-level employers generally assume you're pretty committed to your choice of career. "We've had child psychology interns complete their training year and then switch their emphasis to adult psychology for their postdocs," he says. "That's a lot of predoctoral training to discover that maybe you should have investigated the possibility of training in adult psychology before internship."
Volunteer work can also expose you to different possibilities, says Molloy. So can talking to psychologists who already have a career like the one you're considering. "Members of state associations and psychologists at APA's Annual Convention welcome talking to grad students," she says. "Ask them how they did it and what steps they took."
4.Write in pencil. Make a plan, but don't be rigid about it, says Carolyn A. Licht, PhD, co-editor of "Your Career in Psychology: Putting Your Graduate Degree to Work" (Wiley-Blackwell, 2009) and a staff licensed psychologist at Columbia University Medical Center's Harlem Hospital. "You have to be willing to erase everything and rewrite your plan," says Licht, who was a professional ballet dancer in her first career.
Viewing your career plan as a work in progress lets you take advantage of unexpected opportunities, Licht says. "If you're really strict about only following the path you've set, you may end up closing a lot of doors that may have been really fascinating opportunities for you," she says. "Sometimes you have to be willing to go off the plan and explore a new path."
Monday, November 1, 2010
Ku teruskan jua ...
kenapa aku teruskan jua ..
walaupun ~
. aku tahu siapa diriku
. dalam hati tidak ingin ku teruskan
. dalam diam ku cuba melawan penerusan ini
. walaupun tiada kesungguhan dalam penerusan ini
. walaupun aku punya pilihan
Ku teruskan kerna ..
. ku gagahi demi kelangsungan ceritera
. ku rasa punya waktu untuk aku menemui sesuatu out of the box
. ku rasa sudah takdir yang menentukan
. ku pasti inilah yang terbaik bagiku
. terpaksa ...
walaupun ~
. aku tahu siapa diriku
. dalam hati tidak ingin ku teruskan
. dalam diam ku cuba melawan penerusan ini
. walaupun tiada kesungguhan dalam penerusan ini
. walaupun aku punya pilihan
Ku teruskan kerna ..
. ku gagahi demi kelangsungan ceritera
. ku rasa punya waktu untuk aku menemui sesuatu out of the box
. ku rasa sudah takdir yang menentukan
. ku pasti inilah yang terbaik bagiku
. terpaksa ...
Mau pulang ke gagang ...
rasa nak balik semenanjung lah ..
reason:
- nak sambung study
- nak dok bawah tapak kaki mak
- nak miggle with famili
- nak miggle with the co-jawatan
so .. bila boleh balik ni ..????
reason:
- nak sambung study
- nak dok bawah tapak kaki mak
- nak miggle with famili
- nak miggle with the co-jawatan
so .. bila boleh balik ni ..????
Thursday, September 2, 2010
alkisah .. dulu-dulu raya
erm...lagi lapan hari je dah nak raya.
pejam jelik bangun sahur tahan lapar hampir sebulan dah kita berpuasa.
kalo dah hujung-hujung ni dah takde semangat nak buat teraweh ekk..?
yelah dah sibuk nak gi shopping persiapan raya.
persiapan dari hujung rambut ke hujung kaki...dari belakang rumah hingga ke depan pagar rumah.
segala benda nak nampak baru.
walaupun sanggup berhabisan wang ringgit.
alsekian ngomel pasal nak raya.
next
alkisah dulu-dulu raya.
Baju Raya ... dulu-dulu mak yang belikan. kadang-kadang makcik-makcik yang sediakan (almaklum dulu miskin sangat, mak tak cukup duit nak beli baju baru untuk anak-anak dia). momen paling ingat masa nak raya ialah pada umur 5/6 tahun kot. time tu takde nak memilih sangat baju raya warna ape, kain jenis ape, teluk belanga ke cekak musang ke dah tak kesah..asal ada baju raya. rase macam dah tak kesah sangat sebab kawan-kawan masa tu pun senasib. so takde lah nak mengejek ke apa...
tapi sekarang - dah pandai nak memilih, mungkin dah pegang duit sendiri eksyen la sikit nak pilih-pilih.
Kasut Raya ... Dulu-dulu kasut raya rase tak penting sangat, selipar jepun pun jadilah asalkan ada. pakai yang lelama pun ok jek.
Tapi sekarang - kasut harga beratus, nak yang nampak smart. yelah nak buat pegi jenjalan dan pakai after raya kan. mestilah yang tahan lama dan mahal sikit.
Duit Raya ... dulu-dulu duit raya ade yang bagi 10sen 20sen paling tinggi nilainya pun 50 sen. kita terima jek ape yang orang bagi, tak kisah sangat berapa nilainya. duit raya di kumpul bagi mak simpan untuk belanja sekolah nanti. duit ray masuk dalam tabung buluh buat sendiri..sebab masa dulu ada pokok buluh kat belakang rumah.
Tapi sekarang - huhuhu kena bagi duit raya plak. Now bukan boleh bagi 50 sen dah, mau nya koman-koman 5 hinggit.
Kuih Raya ... Dulu-dulu buat kuih sendiri. tolong mak cik buat kuih bahulu, kerepek pisang, kuih tumpi, kuih rempeyek suma buat sendiri. terasa sangat nak raya masa tu. kuih raya dulu-dulu sangat tradisional. rasa kuih sangat asli dan sedap. dulu-dulu tak pandai nak makan kuih tat.
tapi sekarang - macam-macam kuih ada untuk dipilih tapi rasenya same jek kot sebab kuih kalo dah buat bebanyak rase dah takde yang enak same jek. sekarang kuih tunjuk-tunjuk jek. last-last raya ke tong sampah jugak sebab tak dimakan. tak dimakan sebab tak sedap ...
Rumah Raya ... Dulu-dulu tak kisah lah rumah bercat ke langsir ditukar baru ke tidak. Sume tak penting asalkan rumah bersih , takde habuk itu dah kira baik. yang penting nampak kemas masa raya nnti.
Tapi sekarang - tiap-tiap tahun nak buat langsir baru, cat rumah baru, carpet baru, sume-sume pun nak baru. haish .....
Marhaban .. dulu-dulu kat kampung ada buat marhabban. tersangat rajin nak ikut orang kampung buat marhabban sebab nnti dapat duit raya lagi. dapat makan-makan sampai kenyang. dari pagi sampai ke petang dan sambung sampai ke malam. marhabban makan masa 2 hari jugak lah.
Tapi sekarang - sayangnya dah takde, marhabban tersangat bagus dianjurkan sebab boleh mengeratkan hubungan dengan ahli kampung. sekarang kalo marhabban mesti teringat dedulu mase kecik beratur salam tuam rumah dapat duit raya hehehehe....
raya dulu dengan raya sekarang lain sebab peredaran masa dan umur kan.
Raya oh Raya .. datang cuma setahun sekali ...
Lepas Raya .. poket kosong duit takde ...hahahaha
Tunggu jemputan untuk open house huhuhu
pejam jelik bangun sahur tahan lapar hampir sebulan dah kita berpuasa.
kalo dah hujung-hujung ni dah takde semangat nak buat teraweh ekk..?
yelah dah sibuk nak gi shopping persiapan raya.
persiapan dari hujung rambut ke hujung kaki...dari belakang rumah hingga ke depan pagar rumah.
segala benda nak nampak baru.
walaupun sanggup berhabisan wang ringgit.
alsekian ngomel pasal nak raya.
next
alkisah dulu-dulu raya.
Baju Raya ... dulu-dulu mak yang belikan. kadang-kadang makcik-makcik yang sediakan (almaklum dulu miskin sangat, mak tak cukup duit nak beli baju baru untuk anak-anak dia). momen paling ingat masa nak raya ialah pada umur 5/6 tahun kot. time tu takde nak memilih sangat baju raya warna ape, kain jenis ape, teluk belanga ke cekak musang ke dah tak kesah..asal ada baju raya. rase macam dah tak kesah sangat sebab kawan-kawan masa tu pun senasib. so takde lah nak mengejek ke apa...
tapi sekarang - dah pandai nak memilih, mungkin dah pegang duit sendiri eksyen la sikit nak pilih-pilih.
Kasut Raya ... Dulu-dulu kasut raya rase tak penting sangat, selipar jepun pun jadilah asalkan ada. pakai yang lelama pun ok jek.
Tapi sekarang - kasut harga beratus, nak yang nampak smart. yelah nak buat pegi jenjalan dan pakai after raya kan. mestilah yang tahan lama dan mahal sikit.
Duit Raya ... dulu-dulu duit raya ade yang bagi 10sen 20sen paling tinggi nilainya pun 50 sen. kita terima jek ape yang orang bagi, tak kisah sangat berapa nilainya. duit raya di kumpul bagi mak simpan untuk belanja sekolah nanti. duit ray masuk dalam tabung buluh buat sendiri..sebab masa dulu ada pokok buluh kat belakang rumah.
Tapi sekarang - huhuhu kena bagi duit raya plak. Now bukan boleh bagi 50 sen dah, mau nya koman-koman 5 hinggit.
Kuih Raya ... Dulu-dulu buat kuih sendiri. tolong mak cik buat kuih bahulu, kerepek pisang, kuih tumpi, kuih rempeyek suma buat sendiri. terasa sangat nak raya masa tu. kuih raya dulu-dulu sangat tradisional. rasa kuih sangat asli dan sedap. dulu-dulu tak pandai nak makan kuih tat.
tapi sekarang - macam-macam kuih ada untuk dipilih tapi rasenya same jek kot sebab kuih kalo dah buat bebanyak rase dah takde yang enak same jek. sekarang kuih tunjuk-tunjuk jek. last-last raya ke tong sampah jugak sebab tak dimakan. tak dimakan sebab tak sedap ...
Rumah Raya ... Dulu-dulu tak kisah lah rumah bercat ke langsir ditukar baru ke tidak. Sume tak penting asalkan rumah bersih , takde habuk itu dah kira baik. yang penting nampak kemas masa raya nnti.
Tapi sekarang - tiap-tiap tahun nak buat langsir baru, cat rumah baru, carpet baru, sume-sume pun nak baru. haish .....
Marhaban .. dulu-dulu kat kampung ada buat marhabban. tersangat rajin nak ikut orang kampung buat marhabban sebab nnti dapat duit raya lagi. dapat makan-makan sampai kenyang. dari pagi sampai ke petang dan sambung sampai ke malam. marhabban makan masa 2 hari jugak lah.
Tapi sekarang - sayangnya dah takde, marhabban tersangat bagus dianjurkan sebab boleh mengeratkan hubungan dengan ahli kampung. sekarang kalo marhabban mesti teringat dedulu mase kecik beratur salam tuam rumah dapat duit raya hehehehe....
raya dulu dengan raya sekarang lain sebab peredaran masa dan umur kan.
Raya oh Raya .. datang cuma setahun sekali ...
Lepas Raya .. poket kosong duit takde ...hahahaha
Tunggu jemputan untuk open house huhuhu
Friday, August 27, 2010
i need to further study .. al kisah
ya..terfikir di fikiran nak sambung master.
But tak tahu lagi field yang sesuai.
thinking of .. Health Psychology or Clinical Psychology.
Since currently i'm working under ministry of health..
So better in line with my current interest.
There is always hope here and there.
so to further study , Do I ...
1 - have to wait till third years seniority, so that i have opportunity to be sponsored by ministry .. IF..
2 - have to sacrifice my own time and money to travel over the weekend in case my institution was not within the territory of workplace and i've to 'korek' my own pocket to pay the tuition fees and all that thingy ...
3 - have to transfer within the institution territory so that i can cut the cost of traveling and timing consuming as well ...
~ bila nak dapat pindah? that question mark.
4 - need to further study .. ?
Think and think till end up with 'penyesalan'
Friday, August 6, 2010
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